- one of my schoolmates: harry potter is for children
- me: wingardium levifuckyou
my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia
the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom
whenever i get low on money i start thinking really irrationally like what if i hadn’t spent that $10 back in 2004
Hella rad… Hella sad.
You know you’re a hypochondriac when going through a medicine cabinet excites you